Deep inside, I know that life isn't really THAT good, and that the one thing that would complete our wonderful lives is a child of our own. We have been trying now for two years. I know two years doesn't seem like a long time, but for two people who have dreamed about the day they could be called mom and dad, and look into their very own eyes, two years seems like eternity! Everyone keeps telling us to hang in there, and to not think about it, or the big one: Everything happens for a reason. Well I have been going through my past two years of life, and trying to find that very reason. I try to think of what I would or wouldn't have, had we got our Gift from God in our first year of marriage. I try to think that there is a reason, there is a special baby that is waiting to be a part of our family, to call us mom and dad, and to love us! Here is what I have come up with:
1. Bob is younger than me, and maybe, just maybe, he needed these two years to prepare himself. Anyone who knows me, knows that children have been apart of my life always, and that I was pretty much born to be a mom. That doesn't make me a perfect mom, but I would like to think that God made me this type of person in preparation, that one day, I will be a loving mom. I have seen Bob grow so much in the past two years. Watching him with my niece or nephew in the past two years, has assured me, Bob will make an awesome dad! He is definitely ready now!
2. When we started trying for a baby, we had brand new jobs, lived in a brand new state, and we were getting used to our new life together. Having a child would have added stress, and possibly made the miracle not as rewarding. Children are a special gift, and they need a parents love and affection at all times. Everyone knows that my first year of teaching wasn't exactly a breeze! Being pregnant and dealing with all of that mess would have not been good for the baby, or I! Bob and I both love our jobs now ( well Bob always did ), we have the hang of what is going on, and we even now have a house to welcome this bundle of joy into ( that room is patiently waiting ).
3. Everyone who knows me, knows that I have wanted to me a mom since I was about 5...maybe even before that! I have always had this imagination of what my house would look like with a baby, with all the baby items...the Chicco Stroller, the Restoration Hardware Crib, nursery bedding from pottery barn...I mean I have honestly had this all planned out! I know exactly what I want...or at least I think I do! I like to say that I would go back to work after our precious angel is born, but maybe, just maybe, the reason is...I wont go back. So, God is waiting for Bob and I to be ready, financially ready, for Madison or Brady to be born. Well, I know that I may not get everything that I want for this baby, but I do know that our children will be loved, and cared for, and completely the center of our lives! So, we definitely are ready for this financially, physically, and emotionally.
So, these are the reasons I have told myself. I am sure I can look at our lives more in depth and probably come up with more reasons, even though, in my mind, there should be no reason why I have to wait, and others just get! But, in order to make my life somewhat normal, I have to agree, that everything does happen for a reason. In my heart, I know that God will bless Bob and I with a son or daughter. I know I will be able to be a mom. I just need to continue to be patient, and accept the fact, that there is a reason!
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