Life on a Couch

It has been a while since I have written, and so much has happened. For one, we are finally pregnant again. With as much joy that this has brought us, it has brought us much fear as well. We were very excited to complete our first trimester...we celebrated with actually looking at some possible things we would want for this brand new bundle of joy that has been wanted for so long. We even went and bought some maturnity clothes...as I was starting to need them. The day after I started my second trimester, I woke up bleeding...this was the worst possible thing that I could have inmagined. To much surprise, our baby was fine, with a stoung heartbeat, and the bleeding stopped right away. A week later, it started again...and once again, our strong little one was growing and moving around. They couldnt see where the blood was coming from, but there were thinking there was a hemotoma, which apparantly happens to some women...a small percentage, but based on our history here, we arent surprised! So I was placed on bed rest, and the bleeding got better, then it started again, and back and forth like that. I went to a high risk doctor who discovered that I have a large hemotoma, and possibly a tear in the placenta. Then we heard the dreaded words we did not want to hear..."you have a 40% - 50% chance of a preterm labor, and possibly have the whole placenta tear away from the unterine wall." This was not what we wanted to hear...our little is growing so well, and they have such a good strong heartbeat..we have already fallen in love with this little one, and this news was just a major shock to us. I had already been on bed rest for almost 3 weeks at this point. I was told to continue bed rest, and that this doesnt mean it wont clear up, but that I need to be careful. Our first thought was to look this information up, and to see what was really happening. Well we did dicover that it is not good to have a tear in the placenta, but we did learn that many women have this happen, and they go on to have healthy babies. We also learned that most hemotomoas absorb themselves and bleed out by week 20. So, that gives me 3 more weeks, and hopefully that is what happens. The good news it that everything else looks great...our little bundle is measureing a week ahead, and has a strong little heartbeat. So, this is where we are today. I spend my days and nights on the couch, watching all kids of movies. There are days where I am happy, and ready to face this without fear, and then there are days where I am terrified, and all I do is think about our situation. One thing that I am trying to do is remember that God is here for me, and that He isnt going to hand us something we cant handle. He has a plan for us, and I need to accept that. I think this has broughten us a lot closer to God...I dont think I have ever prayed so much in my life. Deep down I feel like I am going to be ok, and we will have a healthy son or daughter in september...but it is hard, because I dont want to get my hopes up so high, to only be let down. I just have to keep living on faith.

Through all of this I have learned a couple of things:

First of all, I have the greatest husband anyone could have ever asked for. I have been blessed with the most caring and understanding husband. He has been here for me through all of this, and has made sure that I am in the mot comfortable position. I know this has got to be so hard on him, and he never lets it show...he has been so awesome, and has just really shown me how lucky I am to have married my best friend...I thank God for him all day!

Second, my family. They have been so awesome. My parents make sure that I am getting lunch and dinner when poor Bob has to work. They even come over here and cook for all of us, uncluding some of our friends. Again, God has blessed me with such a great family. Bob and I are very blessed with great parents and siblings...and although Bob's parents are not down here, I know thier thoughts and prayers are with us daily...and that means the world to us! My brother has been such a blessing as well. He has really made sure that both Bob and I are taken care of and that our dog ( who is hyper and still a puppy) is watched and cared for, so that I dont have to worry about him while I am here on the couch. Thank you Joe!

Third, my friends...wow do we have some great friends. Holly and Jason have been kind enough to keep Kona at their place during the day, and even watching him in the evening until Bob or Joe can get him. People I work with have been great, emailing me such great words of wisdom, and their prayers are just very warming to Bob and I. Knowing that so many people care about us and our little bundle make Bob and I feel very blessed. Tammy, has been awesome...I do not know what I would do without her. She has visited and called almost everyday, and is making sure that I get enough food ( I have lost 8 pounds...ooops...doc says its ok) Tammy's prayers and inspiration really help us get through some tough days. Thank you so much Tammy, and all of you who care so much for us....again, another sign of how blessed we truly are.

I have just realized that God has really blessed us with some great people. I am a very lucky girl in so many ways. Yes, this is scaring, and nervous, and boring...but the final outcome will be a healthy baby, who we can always look at and realize that God definately loves each and everyone of us, and truly does have a way of showing us we are blessed.

I will try to keep this updated more often...as honestly, I dont have much else to do :) I thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and help during this time. Please continue to pray...as all of you in our thougts and prayers daily!